I did it. I finally did it. In celebration of stepping outside of my comfort zone, I’ve decided to just go for ‘it’, entrepreneurially. (Yes, entrepreneurially is a REAL word – I googled it – it’s the adverb form of entrepreneur.) ‘It’ could be booking more clients, providing better content or providing better products. I am going for it full-throttle.
Over the past four years, I’ve thought of ways to grow my business on a major scale. I’ve taken webinars, listened to podcasts, read tons of literature, conversed with fellow entrepreneurs, prayed and planned but I never really executed any of it. Every time I reflected on why I wasn’t happy with where my business was, it all boiled down to fear. I’m not lazy. Hard work doesn’t scare me but my fear would cause me to never even take the first step. I knew what I wanted. I mapped out my plan, so it wasn’t like I didn’t know how to get from point A to point B. It was just a ridiculous sense of…fear. Fear of the unknown. The fear of failing. The fear of success – which, by the way, is as equally terrifying as the fear of failing. Then on top of that, with the success comes the fear that I may not be able to outdo myself next time. The fear of embarrassment because – the internet lives in infamy. The fear of wasting my time and my money. Just a debilitating fear of BS.
So, when it was time to make decisions to push myself beyond my (self-imposed) limitations, I’d freeze. I’d talk myself out of it. I’d convince myself that the timing just wasn’t right or that I hadn’t yet mastered a skill. I’d run through a list of ‘what if’ questions. What if people don’t like what I have to offer? What if I do a poor job? What if I had a booger in my nose? What if my breath stinks? What if they could smell my stress sweat? What if. What if. What if. BAY-BEE…I have a PhD in ‘what if-ing’ a situation to death.
Here’s the thing, I love guarantees. That’s how I operate. I always need to be in control. I analyze all options available and make informed decisions. It’s safer that way. I like knowing that I’ve made the best decision that will guarantee the best possible outcome. I don’t have the time to ‘hope for the best’. I need to DO and BE the best. The problem with that is…that’s not how running a business works. Oftentimes, you’ve got to take a chance and let things work themselves out. Scaling my business to the magnitude of my wildest dreams won’t happen in a vacuum. I’ve got to put myself out there. I’ve got to take the risk. The worst-case scenario is that things don’t pan out the way I thought they would. So what, I’ll live. When all is said and done, I will have gained wisdom - I will have gained knowledge of some sort. As difficult as it may be initially, I eventually find the silver lining in it all.
So, I did it. I snapped myself out of it. I stopped feeding my fear and started feeding my faith. I’m putting myself out there and for the first time I’m going to be a vendor at a fashion show. I’ve already paid for my table and I even took it a step further and managed to be booked as one of the makeup artists for the models! This was an opportunity that I’ve only dreamt of and I can finally cross it off my list. Thank You, Lord. My hands were shaking when I handed in my submission though. Nonetheless, I took a deep breath, said a prayer and hit ‘send’. Let’s see how this experience goes.
Thank you for reading.
Until next time.
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